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But permit this subsequent occasion sum it up for you: me standing in Mecca asking Allah to help me halt committing this sin, inquiring Allah to sort of like flick off a swap and just bring it to a quit, simply because i am mentally fatigued by the day by day battle within me involving my shameful needs and my Muslim conscience, and i just want it to quit but its proving as well difficult proper now. Before I start, permit me say that in this story of my possess descent into sin, i blame no a person but myself. Don’t enable it be the situation much too frequently that he comes houses to locate you carrying some lame tracksuit bottoms and a T-shirt - or even worse your pajamas. You really do not realize the self-loathing, and hatred a brother has for himself in his day to working day daily life when he remembers what he does when no one is observing but Allah. Another day its due to the fact you satisfied a very good brother. I’ve viewed my early zeal to study and practise, and likely to be a productive member of this ummah fade above the a long time as i invested my time - hrs and several hours in front of the computer having up to no good

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